Archive for the ‘steven spielberg’ Tag

HOOKed on Blu-Ray   2 comments

November 1st will most likely mark the pinnacle of my life. Sadly, it will only go down from there. Weddings and child births will just be blips on the radar compared to something I like to call “Hook on Blu-Ray Day.”

This December marks the 20th anniversary of its theatrical release. I was only 5 years old when I saw it on the big screen, but it’s still one of my most vivid and cherished memories. I can even remember before the feature presentation, they played MC Hammer’s “Addams Groove” music video to promote the modernized Addams Family remake. I don’t know why that stuck with me, but it did, and that’s what makes this memory even more awesome.

It amazes me how many people my age still have fond memories of Hook. It also amazes me how many negative reviews were written upon its release. To those reviewers, you remind me of what happen to Peter Pan when he grew up. He lost his sense of fun and fearless attitude. He forgot how to fly, or a better example, he became an adult. So think about what you’ve done, you angry overpaid critics.

As a blu-ray guru I’ve been waiting for this news for quite some time now. If Steven Spielberg’s current track record of high-definition transfers are any indication of what’s to come, then Hook fans are in for a real treat. The 1080p picture will make us think we’re watching it for the first time. Kind of like Peter finding his happy thought again. Bangarang!

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Epic Alien Invasion Dream (The Evening of July 12th)   3 comments

It starts off with me on a beach with Jack Black. He has an Incredible Hulk tattoo on the front of his neck for whatever reason. All of the sudden Jack gets abducted along with hundreds of other people at the beach in a really sweet looking spaceship. Green fog spreads down from the ship and once the fog touches someone it beams them up to the ship. I just barely miss the abduction as I barrel roll several times away from the fog. I quickly learn that the world has become post-apocalyptic.

Now I’m in a van with Charlie Day from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia. We are now in Philly driving by all the wreckage done by alien ships. We see Citizens Bank Park (Phillies’ Stadium) and Lincoln Financial (Eagles’ Stadium) only slightly damaged. I say to Charlie, “Hey, now we can run around on the Linc and nobody will stop us.” He smirked, but was still really depressed in light of the recent events. We find a facility that holds some of the aliens that were captured by humans. Steven Spielberg and John Williams (in need of a haircut) are in charge of the facility and after their extensive studies they explain everything to me about the alien origins, which I don’t remember. The aliens are called Hygras, which kind of looked like human-tiger-people that are strong swimmers and can breathe under water for a long time because they have fins and gills or some sort of unknown breathing mechanism.

I’m now traveling with my friend Dave and Steven Spielberg, who decided to come along with us. Spielberg has become the hard nosed leader of our expedition and would yell at me quite often as if he were disappointed in my value to the team. We’re now back in Lancaster, driving through town with a trailer we found that has been modified for survival and attack purposes like the one in Stripes. The last thing I remember is when we stopped at a convenient store to stock up on water, snacks and anything else we could find useful to protect ourselves from the aliens. I remember being pretty excited about free snacks, hence Spielberg’s disappointment with me. This is about when I woke up. Considering how the plot kept thickening, and how tense everyone was getting, I’m pretty sure there would have been some pretty sweet alien battles had I kept dreaming. Thankfully, my dreams have been pretty vibrant lately so maybe it will recur someday.